


Everloving

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, M/M, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-05-30
Updated: 2002-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 12:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11335518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Mulder speaks. Is Alex listening?





	Everloving

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Everloving

## Everloving

#### by Marcia Elena

Title: Everloving  
Author: Marcia Elena  
Email:   
Keywords: M/K, Mulder's POV   
Spoilers: All and any M/K episodes  
Rating: R  
Summary: Mulder speaks. Is Alex listening? Written for the 8th Lyric Wheel, the 'Endings Wheel', April 2002  
Warning: This story was fueled in part by the rumored spoilers about the X-Files finale. Disclaimer: CC misused Krycek and Mulder, and I'm punishing _them_ for it; go figure. I'm already in enough pain about this as it is, so please, don't sue! Author's notes: Thanks to Wildy, who did the beta. Also, a HUGE thank you to Pollyanna, who allowed me to participate in this Wheel even though I didn't make it into the list on time. She's the one who provided me with the lyrics that wove this oddity. However, I think it came out more as a loop than as an ending. My apologies for that. 

For Wildy. 

* * *

Everloving  
by Marcia Elena 

I can feel you, Alex. 

You creep in on me, graceful and silent, and immediately there's a shiver traveling up my spine, telling me you're here. I've been attuned to you since the very beginning, and nothing, _nothing_ can ever change that. I know I'll find you if I turn around. But I don't, because I know it's what you want. 

Are you smiling, there, behind me? Or is your face devoid of expression, reflecting the look you saw on mine before you died? 

It hurts to have my own cruelty thrown back at me. But then, everything between us was always darkened by pain; there's no reason for things to be different now, is there? No reason at all. Neither you nor I could ever whisper an apology. 

We loved. You betrayed, and I hated. We pointed guns, threw punches, traded insults. We tasted sweat and come, marked one another's flesh, shed each other's blood. We fucking _maimed_ each other, Alex, body and soul. And for all that, we never cried any tears. 

You were the one who spun the web, lover. Did you realize you'd end up caught in it with me? You paralyzed me with desire, hypnotized me with your gaze. Yet your poisonous kiss somehow seeped into your own veins, and you became lost right alongside me. 

Speak to me, Alex. Are you here to take me with you? I want to go; I need to feel your touch again, even if it's no longer warm. Please. 

Is it weakness to admit that I miss you? Not only your touch, but your scent. The familiarity of it still clings to my brain, and I'm relieved to know you weren't fouled by decay, that there wasn't a body to inter. I sometimes wonder if you faded into thin air, like my sister; then I laugh, aware that there wasn't any innocence left in you. But as the laughter subsides, I sober up. And I shudder. 

I'm shuddering now, Alex. Your non-breath is at the nape of my neck, and I'm waiting for you to say my name. You know I'll leave everyone and everything for you; all you have to do is call me, once, and I'll follow. 

Call to me now. Say my name. _Do_ it! 

You don't. I heave a long, long sigh. It's an old game we play, both of us pulling at each other until we tire and meet in the middle. And I _am_ tired; bone-weary and filled with longing. I don't think I can do this any longer, you know. I miss your voice most of all. 

Yes, I _can_ hear you; I hear the silence of your cold heart, the loudness of the words you never told me. In death as in life, you are a contradiction, a rainbow in shades of grey. 

Or is it shades of green? I remember light spilling from your eyes and making you shine with something brighter than mere life. But I am colorblind, I could never really grasp it. 

Let me see you, Alex. I need to look at you. Because it's what you want. 

I turn around, but you're already gone. You're like a star on a foggy morning, I think you're near, but you're far away. For the moment, at least, our meeting has drawn to a close. 

It doesn't matter; I know we'll talk again, soon. This thing between us...it's meant to be. 

We will never be free of each other, my love. 

You are my penance. 

I am your hell. 

~~~End~~~ 

Love is Pleasing England. (Tune collected from Somerset) 

When I was young I was well beloved By all the young men in this country. When I was young, love, and in full blossom, A false young man came a-courting me. 

Chorus: O love it is pleasing, and love is teasing, And love is a treasure when first it's new. But when it grows older it waxes colder, And fades away like the morning dew. 

I left my father, I left my mother, I left my brothers and sisters, too. I left my home and my kind relations I left them all for the love of you. 

Chorus: O love it is pleasing, and love is teasing, And love is a treasure when first it's new. But when it grows older it waxes colder, And fades away like the morning dew. 

I never thought that my love would leave me, Until one morning when he came in. He drew up a chair and sat down beside me, And then my sorrows they did begin. 

Chorus: O love it is pleasing, and love is teasing, And love is a treasure when first it's new. But when it grows older it waxes colder, And fades away like the morning dew. 

O turn you round, love, your wheel of fortune, Turn you around, love, and smile on me. For surely there'll be a place of torment For this young man who deceived me. 

Chorus: O love it is pleasing, and love is teasing, And love is a treasure when first it's new. But when it grows older it waxes colder, And fades away like the morning dew. 

So girls beware of your false true lovers, Never mind what a young man say. He's like a star on a foggy morning, You think he's near, and he's far away. 

Chorus: O love it is pleasing, and love is teasing, And love is a treasure when first it's new. But when it grows older it waxes colder, And fades away like the morning dew. 

* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Marcia Elena 


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